Today is my wedding anniversary. It's been 8 years since Pamela Ulich married Ed and myself on a mountaintop in Malibu, and I'm so grateful to be healthy and happy and in love.
During the wedding ceremony Pamela asked us to tell why we'd chosen each other. I said that I chose Ed for many reasons but one of my favorites was the way his smile lights up his face, and lifts my spirits. It still does. I like nothing better than to make Eddie smile and laugh, which he does a lot. He said he choose me because I made him whole.
A friend just wished us happy anniversary, and said, "How many years, and how many thousands of miles?" It's true that since Ed and I met almost 9 years ago, we started traveling almost immediately--to India, my favorite place, where he proposed in Varanasi, to Fiji for our honeymoon, a Warren family Thanksgiving in Barbados, hiking treks to Chilean Patagonia, Bhutan, and Morocco, a road trip up the West Coast, helicopter-fishing and hiking in New Zealand, and many, many other wonderful adventures. And we had the pleasure of taking his West Coast family to Africa and Viet Nam. Next we're off to Iceland. Alice, who introduced us, said one reason she made the introduction was because we both liked hiking and traveling, and she was certainly correct about that.
A friend who is 37 and who doesn't seem to have a girlfriend at the moment, asked me to write about love. I suspect Johnnie asked because I'm older than he, and I'm happy.
If there's a secret to a happy marriage, and Johnnie don't be disappointed here with my answer, but I'd say it's along the lines of the famous Henry James quote:
Three things in life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.
And have fun and laugh with each other. A lot. Don't hold a grudge. We all make mistakes, but don't dwell on them. And everyone likes a compliment. When I tell Ed he looks handsome (and he does), he beams. It might sound glib and facile, but such simple, easy currency can inject such positive energy into a partnership.
Maybe more on Love later. Right now we're off to La Jolla to celebrate eight years together. But right before I finish this, the phone rings. It's a a favorite older friend and she's calling to tell me that her husband died. They'd been together for 70 years and had one of the happiest, best marriages I'd ever witnessed. They respected each other, laughed a lot, and never took each other too seriously. I never heard them pick on each other. They were lucky in love. Maybe that's another ingredient that's important--just plain dumb luck. Being lucky enough to meet the right person.